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The tale of how a newborn infant has been able to grasp life's harsh realities within the first six days of his life and has lot all hope in mankind.
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We have been told, times and again, of the rapid technological development and the affects it has on our lives. With everything speeding up, thanks to the dual and quad culture, it seems that the newborn babies are also being influenced. This is manifest in a singular newborn infant who has been able to conclude that we, as a race, are hopeless, within the first six days of his life.


Infant kid

Normally, kids are kept under the delusion of ‘all is well’ as long as possible, with parents pampering them with all kinds of lies to shield them from the harsh realities of life. Not with Nathan Jameson, who seems to be cognizant of all this fraud right from the start.

According to prominent psychologists, Jameson is well aware of humanity’s¬†conundrums and seems more knowledgeable about life’s truths than many aged people. For instance, Jameson has already discerned that under the drapes of collective good, everyone is a conceited self-driven, selfish individual and all the empty slogans citing high humanistic ideals break down in the fact of need.

Jameson also seems well aware of the jargon of doublespeak. For instance, he can understand metaphors very well and knows that when we talk about human rights, it applies to only a small coterie of people. Moreover, he has taken an aversion to the very smartphone his father uses, apparently aware of how behind all this connect-us-all philosophy is a corporation making huge bucks.

What is worrying for his parents as well as the doctors is that how will he ever survive after having comprehended it all so soon. In fact, they fear he may grow suicidal before he reaches the age of 1. They are already contemplating giving him books by modern thinkers, hoping that a dose of philosophy may lead him into a deluded, skewed version of hope that many of us happily ascribe to.

Psychologists who have been closely watching the case believe that this, here, is the final nail in anything that Freud ever said. And that they need newer theories to describe this child’s behaviour. Jameson may indeed turn out to be the new specimen of modern humans.

The only silver lining in this obviously hopeless situation is that young Jameson is already fond of Lego blocks and is able to construct giant conspiracy theories with his set. Sociologists are already looking to him for clues about the future shape of mankind whereas the religious lot seems to see an oracle in him.

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  On September 18, 2012(3 years, 8 months ago.)

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1 Response

  1. Wot Says:

    What? Why is this even on here? It’s from the Onion.

    Posted on September 24th, 2012 at 2:36 AM

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