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Valentine’s Day is upon us once more, and lovey-dovey couples all around the world will once again be exchanging gifts, chocolates and flowers. Romance is in the air, and Dr Debby’s Love Advice has come up with some great advice for those couples who can’t be together on this special day, and perhaps want to express their love via their webcams.

Read on for what Debby Herbenick, PhD has to say about video sex.

Far too many people have had their sex lives exposed thanks to sex tapes—and not just the kind stored on digital cameras. Remember the Clay Aiken video chat sex-ish scandal? I do and it wasn’t pretty, pasty white chest and all.

Many women and men are appropriately cautious about exposing themselves online. For your sake as well as that of your partner, I’d suggest holding off on video chat sex until you trust each other—and then some. Get to know each other well enough so that you can tell whether or not they’re likely to be dishonest or if they have a strong temper. Have they tried to embarrass or shame past partners in any way? Have they tried to take revenge on former friends or exes? If so, you might want to keep your clothes on and vibrator in the drawer for the time being. Or get the Safer Sexting app for your iPhone and sext with photos for the time being.

Aside from possibly having your video chat sex on public display, there’s a more personal reason to be thoughtful about your online sex. People attach different levels of meaning to being nude or sexual with others—even if just virtually. Some people will drop their pants on or off screen for just about anyone, regardless of how close they feel. Others will only do so with people they feel close to and with whom they feel safe and connected.

Should a hot and heavy game of online Scrabble tempt you to strip away your clothes and then the next day you change your mind and stop chatting or you start dating someone else and broadcasting it on your blog, it could break that person’s heart. As such, I would suggest that you only suggest video chat sex when you have a sense that you can trust each other to be honest and private and when you can trust yourselves to be kind.

If both of those are true, then bring up video chat in the larger context of what turns each of you on. Dirty talk? Sultry texts? Lingerie? Vibrators? The Frucci Fleshlight video? By saying that video chat sex turns you on, you have the opportunity to ask the other person how they feel about it, whether they’ve ever tried it and whether they’d be open to trying it with you and under what circumstances. Oh, and whether they’d consider using the iChat roller coaster effect, which is crazy hot for sex chats.

For example, you might agree to not show faces or to promise not to take screen shots or to do some things on video (like show off your penis or vulva) but not others (like do naughty things with your iPhone). It’s all about communication, boundaries and making sure your computer settings allow you to keep your screen bright even if your hands are busy doing other things.

Source: Gizmodo

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  On February 14, 2010(7 years, 3 months ago.)

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What Do You Think?

8 Responses

  1. valencialowe Says:

    Hi there, what’s up? I am looking for a date message me via

    Posted on February 14th, 2010 at 12:02 PM

  2. Nakkai Says:

    It wasn’t Clay Aiken. The picture was a headless torso of some chubby guy with black body hair.

    Posted on February 14th, 2010 at 5:04 PM

  3. Frankie Says:

    Those “webcam” shots of Clay were photoshopped. There’s a lot of people follow Clay around just to try to make him look bad.

    Posted on February 15th, 2010 at 3:35 AM

  4. Ricke Says:

    Do you always believe what you see in the National Enquirer? LOL Clay Aiken has had a stalker for over four years, but we never hear about that.

    Posted on February 15th, 2010 at 10:00 PM

  5. Guapa Says:

    One great thing I love when it comes to webcam is that they are the real instrument so that you and your partner can really see each other and in some ways you both feel that you were both together. Well if that is the case, then there are lot of emotions that comes up to you and your partner, sexual feeling will surely occur by that moment that's why sex chat with a cam is being popular especially to those couples who are far away to each other.

    Posted on June 17th, 2010 at 6:59 PM

  6. mike Says:

    hi sir,
    plz give me software web cam no permisson with i see u other people.

    Posted on October 26th, 2010 at 11:14 AM

  7. JulJulesJulia Says:

    Check out the first webcam site optimized for an iPhone. Free membership. Don’t take my word for it. Check it out yourself.

    Posted on July 28th, 2011 at 4:10 AM

  8. DonaldG Says:

    Finally use skype the way we all know we want to! 

    Posted on June 5th, 2012 at 1:55 AM

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